You hear it all the time in stories how people from oppsite backgrounds meet and fall in love. That’s me. Sometimes it can be such a blessing and others a curse.
I grew up in a strict household where yes I did have advantages that others did not. My mother, though, was a single parent who worked very hard and happened to make a very good living doing so. So yes, I had the expensive things but I was never allowed to abuse or misuse those things. I went on the trips overseas; however, that’s like most people going to their family houses. Europe was where my family was. The big emphasis in my life was on education and when we moves to a place that did not meet my mother’s standards I was moved to a private school. Now none of this was a free ride, I had to earn it all and maintain straight A’s.
My fiance however, grew up underprivileged. His parents could barely take care of themselves so it was mainly his elderly grandparents that took care of him and his brother. He used to spend all his extra time trying to get and find odd jobs, ultimately supporting his family from the age of 15. He never had nice things. Presents (to this day) come from the swap shop where Grandpa pays $1 for everything.
He didn’t grow up the way I did. I’ve never been to a laundry-mat and he’s never been to 5 course dinner meal. I feel uncomfortable siting anywhere but at the table for a meal. He will eat chunky soup out of the can-cold while standing in the kitchen.
We give and we take and we are still trying to find that balance that works for us. But its hard and frustrating at times. It doesn’t help that I have a hot temper (curiosity of my biological father) and he is so laid back at times that it borders the not caring line.
I hope we will find out what works before we get married but for now I will fly off the handle when he destroys something my mother gave us and he will continue to ignore my pleas for help with the chores.
As you can tell I”m obviously far from being alright currently and still more than a little frustrated with him . I know you can’t change a person but I your approach. I’m thinking that I will wait to see what he will do when there are no clean clothes, food cooked or anything along those lines for him. On the other hand; his patience might be stronger than mine…